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5. Oh, I have ran out of cookies. They must have them up front.

4. Sir, it is impossible for two people to be assigned the same seat.

3. Sir, there was a blanket on every seat where is yours?

2. Flight attendants are not here for your comfort but for your safety. Chssht, Is there a doctor or any kind of medical assistant on board, maybe  someone who used to watch Doogie Houser?

photo CC by hfabulous

1. In case of a sudden drop in cabin pressure a mask will drop from the ceiling. Please place the mask around your face and breath freely. Though the bag does not appear to inflate, oxygen is flowing if you have first swiped your credit card. Please put on your mask before swiping your card to purchase your childs air for the same price.

Bah, Bye, Now!