BloggingThat

Have you ever tuned on the water hose full-blast and just stuck it in to the ground, the water blasting the dirt and sand in every direction, welcoming the hose to enter the underdirt? <Begin Mischievous Echo> Never to be recovered.</End Mischievous Echo> When I was young, I did this a lot and it was exciting to think that I could water China. While I’m still not convinced it can not be done, I do appreciate the cost of a garden hose. Because, I know, you can never get it back. My kids were adamant about pulling the hose from the ground. First, they asked me to pull it out of the ground. I did give it a tug and at the same time noticed the water was still on. “What a stretchy hose”, I thought. Then, my wife chimed in, “I need that hose.” “Well, honey, then you shouldn’t have let the children bury it, it’s gone now.”, I replied. “They didn’t do it, I did.”, she remarked. Pause [Wild laughter ensues] I wonder if the children, or wives, in China are trying to “hose” to the United States. I’ll be waiting, I could use a new nozzle.

My younger girls love the laundry. They unfold it, sit on it, roll in it and generally drag it around the house. This Saturday morning I woke up and headed downstairs to get a up of coffee. I put some cargo shorts on from the day before to get me by until I can wake up and tackle the day. I sat down at the computer to download some pictures from an awards ceremony from my oldest girl. When I got up to hit the shower, I noticed a heavy feeling in my pocket. I jammed my hand in to the pocket to find a mushed up Pop-tart. In the time it took me to type this post, a root beer was shaken up and exploded and a dish of cat food was dumped on the floor. With kids, you never know. Well, I better get going, I think I heard a crash in the living room. The good news is I am going to hop them up on sugar and drop them with Grandma for the day!

[Photo CC by Missionshine]

Bloggingthat

Kylie, my four year old daugter, got two crowns on the bottom molars and she calls them her jewelry teeth. She is very proud of them and I don’t have the heart to correct her by saying that it’s her grillz. OhhKaayyy! Yeahhhhah! (Photo of random man with grillz.)

[Photo CC By Uberculture]

My family and I went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks the other day at the local movie theater. Located in an outside mall, it has very nice curb appeal and the interior is equally luxurious. There are not too many seats per screen and the chairs are big, comfortable and recline. The movie was a few laughs, but there were more to be had.

The movie had its moments, but this is a kids movies and kids have to get up and go to the bathroom. My three year old daughter and I excused ourselves as the Chipmunks were just about to… whatever we are on our way. I carried her out as not to interrupt for too long while making an exit. She liked the way the path lights made her pink shoes glow orange and would likely stop to appreciate it.

The public restroom, to a young child, must be very intimidating. Especially when the hand dryer sounds like a 747 taking off, blowing scraps of paper around in a whirlwind of germs, not to mention the strange wall potties not often seen by girls. Privacy and seating was priority one. In to the stall we went. When seated, the auto flush sensor was at her head level and ‘beeped’ in recognition of her presence. I stood impatiently by waiting for the magic to happen, then Whooosh!, she leaned forward, activating a suction that could’ve brought down the Titanic. Surprised, she gasped for breath and hung on to the sides of the seat like a cat. By this time her posture was upright as we both started laughing uncontrollably. ‘Beep’. “Finish up”, I said, eager to get back in the theater. She replied, “Daddy, I…Whoooosh!” again with the flushing.

We laughed as we washed our hands and all the way back to the movie. “I didn’t push that button, daddy, not that one, not me.”, she kept saying. The movie was pretty good, but the look on her face stole the show.

-Mike

Ask any kid and they’ll show you their Webkinz . Marketed to kids age 6-13, these fuzzy stuffed animals marched in to our house two by two. My kids lobby for computer time, begging to feed their animals.

They have to earn KinzCash by playing games and then buy food for their pets. They can also create rooms for their pets and other stuff. It is supposed to teach them, among other things, to care for a pet. Believe me the cat turds in our house are real.

With limited computer time available to them, the reasons to log on get more creative. “But my Webkinz will die.”, she said, poised to keep a sad face. It sounded reasonable to me. I had also heard it from my niece on my first ‘kinz orientation. After a quick check on the web site, I discovered they can not die but only get very sick.

I can live with that, besides, i’ll bet the ICU is packed with toys wishing them a speedy recovery.

-Mike

Everyone has seen the motivational posters that line the hallways in offices. You pause, reading the insightful script, and carry on with your day, poised to be positive. Have you ever wanted to make your own? Continue reading »