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5. Oh, I have ran out of cookies. They must have them up front.

4. Sir, it is impossible for two people to be assigned the same seat.

3. Sir, there was a blanket on every seat where is yours?

2. Flight attendants are not here for your comfort but for your safety. Chssht, Is there a doctor or any kind of medical assistant on board, maybe  someone who used to watch Doogie Houser?

photo CC by hfabulous

1. In case of a sudden drop in cabin pressure a mask will drop from the ceiling. Please place the mask around your face and breath freely. Though the bag does not appear to inflate, oxygen is flowing if you have first swiped your credit card. Please put on your mask before swiping your card to purchase your childs air for the same price.

Bah, Bye, Now!

An Iraqi news reporter throws his shoes at President Bush during a ceremony in Iraq stating “This is the end”. First off, I would like to say those are pretty good reflexes for an old man. Second, I believe that perhaps Barbara must throw shoes at him because he ducked the shoe too naturally, not unlike an athlete. Third, and maybe most importantly; where was the secret service? Sure the first shoe was a surprise, but someone was supposed to “take the bullet” on the second shoe. I should have seen a man diving in front of the podium in response to the second shoe with no regard for his own life.

To the Iraqi “shoeman”; what the heck, man? You must have grown up in the posh area of Iraq, not ever throwing a rock in your life. How could you miss? Twice! You are a disgrace to your recently liberated country. You are what we, in America, call an “easy out.” He did hit the American flag, so maybe we should let a Marine talk to him about honor. Just a thought.

That’s all I got to say about that.

-Mike

Of course this is not the only way, mate.

According to this article from Yahoo, eating kangaroo could cut global warming because the kangaroo fart less than cattle and sheep. Or, more politely stated, ” Kangaroos, on the other hand, emit negligible amounts of methane gas.”

This gives a new meaning to the words “hot pocket”.

Swimming pools… movie stars… traffic… graffiti… Does everyone carry spray paint with them? My car has to stick out like Jethro with my out of state tags. I drove through the Mojave desert to get here. On the way, I saw the roadrunner and the coyote. Don’t believe me? All ye of little faith.

Meep, Meep! Plublublub! Phuuuume!

This was taken in front of the Gardendale, Alabama, Walmart while she was going to the Flea market.

Please look carefully at this photo.

Notice that it is a pair of men’s briefs. That is just darned creative. What gave it away for me was the upside down Hanes on the waistband.

I don’t really know what to say other than, wow.
 
 
 
 
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