I shuffled on to the Airbus A320 jet airliner like any other day. No rain delays, no pilot delays, no mechanical issues, oh, wait there was just one mechanical issue.
Capt from the cockpit: Chssht, we had a minor issue when starting the left jet engine. Uhh, a trouble light came on at startup and, uhh, we are in contact with maintenance to see if we are going to restart the engine or taxi back to the gate and off load. Chssht.
Me: The left engine is bad? Don’t we need them both? I hope the guy who is making the call got plenty of rest, woke up on the right side of the bed and his dog brought him his slippers so he could enjoy his morning coffee.
For the next five minutes, the sound of the engines being shut down were heard. Then five minutes later, the engines screamed with life again.
Capt from the cockpit: Chssht. Uhh, as you may have heard, we shut down the engines for a restart. Ground maintenance advised the doohickey thingamabob sensor set a trouble condition in the systems computer. Chssht.
-five second pause- 
Capt from the cockpit: Chssht. Flight attendants prepare the cabin for takeoff. Chssht.
Me: They just did a Control+Alt+Del on the plane. Does the trouble ticket say NTF (no trouble found)? How will we reboot in flight? Did I leave my iron on?
Photo CC by caribb

Have you ever tuned on the water hose full-blast and just stuck it in to the ground, the water blasting the dirt and sand in every direction, welcoming the hose to enter the underdirt? <Begin Mischievous Echo> Never to be
recovered.</End Mischievous Echo> When I was young, I did this a lot and it was exciting to think that I could water China. While I’m still not convinced it can not be done, I do appreciate the cost of a garden hose. Because, I know, you can never get it back. My kids were adamant about pulling the hose from the ground. First, they asked me to pull it out of the ground. I did give it a tug and at the same time noticed the water was still on. “What a stretchy hose”, I thought. Then, my wife chimed in, “I need that hose.” “Well, honey, then you shouldn’t have let the children bury it, it’s gone now.”, I replied. “They didn’t do it, I did.”, she remarked. Pause [Wild laughter ensues] I wonder if the children, or wives, in China are trying to “hose” to the United States. I’ll be waiting, I could use a new nozzle.
