I drank some rum. Rum is good. Ask any pirate and he’ll tell you the same. However, pirates probably did not live in apartments. I do. This works out pretty well for my story.
Normally, I awake by an alarm set on my phone. It bothers me but is necessary to my career and ultimately, my survival. This was to be no normal morning.
I awake to the shrill sound of high-speed power tools grinding brick. Anyone who has had a hangover can vouch that this is pain. This is all going on below my window and I want to throw hot coffee on this person. It must be noted that I have no hot coffee, so I am screwed. Apparently the grinding was not enough and the job required a sledge hammer. Thud! Thud! Thud!, the ground shook and the very core of my brain hurt. How could anyone do this to me? I look at the clock and see it is 9:00 AM so they probably can. The apartment complex has a few guys that do it all and are equipped for maintenance. I think ” this is as bad as it’ll get”.
Wrong! DDDDDDT!, DDDDDT!, DDTTTTTT! They have a jack-hammer! Holy crap my head is dying. I am in disbelief and begin to dress myself because, I am evacuating! Could they have explosives? I can not take the chance. As I leave, many of my fellow residents are dispatching to their cars. Everyone is pissed and hauling ass. We all leave in a scramble.
I come back to a pretty good looking sidewalk, though I notice a few cracks on the other side.
I am a frequent flier within the United States. I mean I know the names of airline attendants, TSA, bartenders and all that. Sometimes when I fly I get sick. I am usually healthy, but a plane ride seems to do me in. A couple of people, including my lovely wife, told me to try Airborne before flying. This product was created by a second grade teacher. Why is that important? Well first, she probably doesn’t have to teach anymore if she doesn’t want to and second, it was designed as defense against snotty nosed [punk] kids. It is basically a vitamin pack created to boost your immune system before you travel or go in to large crowds or classrooms.
Enough background. I am at MCO, otherwise known as Orlando International Airport. I have a few bucks and a little time so I look through a shop because I’m bored. I see Airborne for the first time. The product is packaged in a plastic tube the size of a roll of quarters on a cardboard backing. I leave the store and quickly rip in to the package. I will be boarding in less than a half an hour now so I had better take this now. I pop the tamper-proof cap and a large, quarter inch thick, tablet falls in to my hand. It is supposed to taste of fruit so I smell it and it smells like fruit. I pop it in to my mouth.
Dude! I should have read the directions. This thing is effervescent like a danged alka-seltzer. As my saliva hit the tablet, a reaction began that may have made me look like a rabid dog. It was too late. I was already chewing it which made everything happen faster. I have all but lost my embarrassment through the years, specifically, when my five year old pulled my pants down in Home Depot and clung to my ankles, so I remain cool. And then I burped… A lot. The alphabet, War and Peace and a few nursery rhymes for good measure.
But, I didn’t get sick. So, was it worth it. I say yes! With all that said; this is a decent product that I would recommend. Just make sure you use it as it ws intended to be used.
I took a look at the latest stimulus package to see if it could help my family. What I found inspired my rant and a few suggestions for the future.
As it turns out, I have been fiscally responsible, unlike the banks, the government and people who bought homes they could never afford. So, I’m good. There is nothing for me here. Kinda like when I paid my way through college, unable to get a grant, though I was broke, underfed and without insurance. Oh well. <insert the tiniest violin here>
My heart goes out to those who have lost their jobs, have suffered health issues during times of relentless medical cost increases or are trying to retire. These folk truly need the help to get back on their feet or have a comfortable life. I should know as I am one of them (failed job) and currently work 2200 miles away from my family so that we can survive without a handout. Humans require food, clothing and shelter. Plasma screen TVs are not on the list people. Ya heard?
The banks and the automobile industry do not deserve a dime. Giving Federal money, which comes from our taxes, to the fiscally irresponsible (and/or corrupt) is not the way to stimulate the economy. Let them fail; then support fiscally responsible people who should take their place. Never in history has there been a time where so many CEO’s have screwed their employees out of their retirements while landing softly on the ground of their estate under the luft of their golden parachute. America hasn’t failed, it is merely weeding out the riffraff.
We do not need this much government assistance. We can do this ourselves. The more help we require from government, the more helpless we become. It has helped for me to stop watching the news. It is biased and mostly crap. Use the internet to find out whats really going on. The economy has seized because we think it is. If you weren’t told, you would just be spending like normal. Read the Constitution and get back to life. Do not let our freedom be diluted by the guise of terrorism. God bless you.
